Deeply Certain and Slightly Doubtful

"You can be deeply certain, and slightly doubtful. You can be scared, and really, really ready."

-Danielle LaPorte 

I believe that. 

Because I am feeling all those things right now.

And every time I think about adopting and the fact that I could literally become a mom any day now, a whole new batch of excitement bubbles up inside of me so much that I can barely contain it.

But there is also a small lump of panic that sinks beneath the effervescence of my excitement, and lies cold and heavy somewhere near the pit of my stomach.

Because I've never been a mom before. 

And I'm terrified because after all this time, and all this work, and all this waiting, 
what if I'm just not any good at it?

More than anything else in my whole entire life I desperately want to be good at this.
Then this beautifully written article reaches out across the internet and unloads armfuls of reassurance into my lap with words like:



There will be good days and bad days, good minutes and bad minutes, 
good choices and not so good ones. 
Be gentle with yourself, because you are wildly loved and incredibly needed. 
Gather wisdom around you. Learn from your mistakes.  
Stay humble. Stay open. When you know better, do better. 
Be a better parent tomorrow than you were today, 
always, everyday, as often as you can. 
Try things out and leave them behind shamelessly if they don’t work out. 
And love that incredible baby!
It will be better than okay.  It will be amazing.